Published on September 25th, 2009 | by Staggered0
Wedding night sex: going down
Lisa Turner (Sexpert) answers your questions. This week: how to give better cunnilingus on your wedding night/honeymoon. And after that, at least for the first few years until you both find that it’s all a bit too much effort and you’d rather read a nice book.
Hello, I’ve always gone down on girlfriends in the past and my wife to be says she really likes it but I think I can do it better. Have you got any good tips for giving great oral? Cheers
Some general tips are to make sure she is fully aroused before you even go near her genitals. Be as gentle and rhythmic as possible. Take a pleasure focused approach rather than an orgasm focussed approach. The right mindset is important too. Focus on creating an intimate connection with her, rather than the mechanics of what you’re doing. If your attention is on her and you open and relax you will enter a light meditative state where you are doing, not thinking. This will make her relax and open to connect with you on a much deeper level.
When offering oral makes sure you pay attention to ALL of her vulva first instead of going straight for the clitoris. Slowly and gently work your way up to her clitoris. Start with gentle tongue strokes at the base of her vaginal entrance and work your way up. Take in the full length of her inner lips, they are very sensitive and attention here will greatly increase her arousal so is well worth the time. As you go over the clitoral head brush it very lightly. Then push down on the area just above the head, you will feel the clitoral shaft beneath it.
Establish up a gentle rhythm, you can try counting 1, 2, 3, 4 etc. Then skip some beats, 1, 2, – 4, this can create tension and help her build to orgasm. Alternate vertical strokes of the tongue with horizontal stokes.
As you stimulate press a hand down on her abdomen just above the pubic bone. This is where the sacral chakra is located which is believed to be the centre of sexuality. A gentle pressure on this with the flat of your hand, with an accompanying circular movement will arouse the sexual energy stored here. Many women report that this is where the sensation of orgasm originates from and the heat of your hand will draw her attention to this and increase the intensity of her orgasm.
Try letting her do the work; maintain pressure on her clitoris whilst she moves against your tongue. That way she can control the rhythm and pressure, and your tongue won’t get tired. Also try using your teeth shielded by your upper lip for firmer pressure – but NO biting please.
As you notice her approaching orgasm make sure you maintain the pressure and rhythm so that she can tip over the edge. Bring her legs closer together as this makes it easier for her to orgasm.
Some women can feel “lonely” during oral sex. This is because men “give” sexual energy from their genitals and if she can’t feel your penis touching her miss this. Try straddling her thigh and resting your penis on her inner thigh to make this connection.
See more tips from Lisa at The O-Coach website.