Published on March 20th, 2015 | by Staggered0
Creating The Ultimate Stag-Do
What makes the ultimate stag do? Got an idea in your mind? Are you living it large in the UK with all mates? Yeah? No! You’re thinking too small! We’re talking the ultimate, no-holds-barred, money’s no object, once in a lifetime celebration conceivable! We’re talking they’ll-make-a-film-about-this-one-day sort of stag-do. Staggered reads up on how to plan a stag-do and gives it a go…
Factor 1: The issue of time.
The first thing we need to consider is the time-frame. You can’t get shit done in one night, unless you’re taking the Ghost of Christmas past along for the ride, and let’s face it, that guy is a major buzz-kill. Let’s go for the long weekend. But why not a week, heck, why not a fortnight I hear you cry? Because you should always leave the crowd wanting more. And because we have a wedding to survive long enough to see.
Factor 2: Location, location, location.
Our second biggest consideration is location. With money no object, choosing between all the epic stag destinations across the globe is going to be difficult, and we shouldn’t have to pin it down to just one. For each aspect of the ultimate stag there is a perfect location, so for example, if gambling is on the agenda, it has to happen in Vegas. Blackpool or your local Mecca Bingo just won’t do.
We don’t want all our time taken up by travel of course, which brings us to our next point: the ride. Private jet, anyone? It’s important to have a designated driver too, not just because we don’t know how to fly a plane, but because we’re going to abuse our livers in a variety of exotic locales.
Factor 3: Who’s who?
So who’s on the guest list? As well as our closest friends, we’re going to want to party with some true legends. Obviously we can’t drop by the ’70s to pick up Georgie Best and Ollie Reed, so we’ll be hooking up with their current contemporaries – let’s say Will Ferrell and Rooney looks like he’d be able to hold his beer.
Now, for our ULTIMATE Stag Do: Budapest
Alright so we’ve had a bit of a giggle, dreaming up our once in a lifetime stag-do, but what about going on one that is actually achievable for all!? Prepare yourselves gentlemen, I mean seriously prepare yourselves. This is going to be one wild weekend. It’s not everyday that you get the opportunity to plan your ultimate stag do, so when it does come along, be prepared to go big or go home. The first problem facing you; just where do you go? Vegas? Too far away for a weekend. Newcastle? Too close to home. Answer: The coolest capital in Europe and every stag do’s wet dream, a weekend in Budapest. Lets take you through the itinerary that would leave Chuck Norris weeping like a pubescent boy.
Do you have what it takes?
If you’re serious about this stag-do be prepared to put some of the effort in, that means getting in to Budapest nice and early. We’re not talking 8am early, but either way when you touch down and dust off those peepers you’ll be greeted by your very own stripper limo. Yeah that’s right. Strippers. And a Limo. AND 2 bottles of champagne… AND beer. Seriously, welcome to Budapest. As you’re taken to your hotel, you and the boys can enjoy the entertainment on hand before disembarking to get ready for the next cool activity.
“Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”
After all that excitement, you might want to rest a while, PSYCHE. Nah it’s time to go shoot some guns. You might fancy yourselves as a bit of pro having once accomplished a 12 man kill streak on CoD (like a boss). Firing off 54 rounds from various handguns, assault rifles and snipers – oh hey there Mr AK-47 – you soon feel the adrenaline surging through your body. We also give special props to the guy who manages to hit the target while holding a glock at a 90 degree angle – gangster style. It’s competitive, fun and the guys who run it give you all the best guidance in shooting and safety, leaving you boys relaxed and focused. Once done blasting targets, a few cheeky beers are thrown in afterwards to sweeten the deal.
As you’re driven back to the hotel, your mind ablaze with romanticised images of you attacking a base full of baddies like Rambo, you can’t help but reflect on how damn cool and manly the day has been. How many people get to fly to Budapest, get strippers in a limo, fire some amazing weaponry and still have the rest of the weekend to go?
A gorgeous Guide to show you the nightlife
Chilling out for a few hours, the party is ready to get started again at about 9 with your own personal guide taking you to some of the best bars and clubs. She know’s her shit. You wanted an authentic Hungarian drinking den for the night and she delivers. You enter the bar and are immediately given a free beer, always love a free beer. Your guide is with you for a good 6 hours and during that time you visit another 2 different clubs including free entry to the strip club! If that wasn’t enough, Pete the lucky stag bagged himself a free lapdance. Mind. Was. Blown.
Honestly fellas, how do you top this? You spent a glorious glorious night partying away, the stag was loving it, the group was loving it – the only thing that you’re not loving are the devilish hangovers (I’m a whiny southerner). Right onwards and upwards.
You kick off the day with a bang, being taken to an ex Russian Military base for some paintball action. The venue is incredible making use of old buildings, tanks and other obstacles to create an eerie yet exciting atmosphere. Naturally, shooting the stag was the highlight, along with a round of beers at the end of it all, but it was an excellent way to get everyone up and making use of all that firearms shooting the day before.
Boozy beer bike round Budapest
Lucky for you, the beer was to continue, but in the form of a beer bike. You head off into the city centre to find it, buzzing with anticipation. Pedalling the mighty bike you tour the streets of Budapest, sipping on some of the local brew – by some, I refer to all 20 litres of the stuff – and yes, that was ALL included in the price. Sitting there with your mates, you can’t help but revel in the camaraderie as you all put the effort in to keep the bike moving, before being richly rewarded with some thirst quenching lager.
Poker + Strippers = Winning
After paintball and a beer bike, you feel you’ve earned a pretty good nap before the evening. How do you celebrate? By playing a manly game of poker – only with strippers – in your own EXCLUSIVE strip club hire venue. Honestly, this combo activity is incredible. With up to 5 strippers, the first hour was spent playing poker with the boys – a dealer also being supplied to add to the effect. The second hour after the poker, we had the venue all to ourselves, with discounted drinks and 5 gorgeous girls for company, before opening to the general public. Needless to say, the party was very impressed with the service and the night hadn’t even properly begun.
To keep up the good vibes, you have another guide waiting outside the venue to show you some more incredible clubs. This time, you want to keep the tunes thumping until the early hours of the morning. Your guide was more than happy to oblige and took you to one of the renowned hotspots for party goers; a welcome beer on arrival again, becoming something of the norm on this trip!
Beat the hangover with a Thermal Bath
Not going to lie, after 2 nights of hard partying, today is probably the day to relax and unwind. You start popping paracetamol like it was going out of fashion and attend to your other wounds. Fortunately, no one is missing, nobody ended up stuck on the end of an IV drip, and the party is ready to rumble (tentatively) on. What better way to ease those fragile heads and bodies into the day than hitting up some glorious thermal baths. Let the warm waters sooth your tired body as you slowly exhale and sink into these pools of blissful warmth. Sit back and watch some oldies play chess, or join in yourself and mingle with the locals. By the end of this you should be feeling far more energised and relaxed, ready for the day ahead.
During the day, the group could split up depending on the mood. Some of you may wish to return back to the comfort of your beds, while others may wish to indulge in some sightseeing. It’s all up to you, the afternoon is your downtime.
The Last Supper: Dine in Style
Come evening, it’s time to enjoy a proper meal with your mates as you all sit down for a 3 course meal in a stylish wine cellar. An enjoyable add on to this delicious meal, is the inclusion of a topless waitress. Nothing like a bit of toplessness while serving a fine bottle of Malbec. Hopefully, you and boys can reflect on one incredible weekend that nobody will forget. If you’re still feeling particularly adventurous, have one last crack out on the town.
The next day, it’s back to the airport, but instead of struggling away with all your luggage and the fear of being ripped off by the taxi driver, a minibus was arranged to make your final trip that little bit easier and less stressful. You’ll probably gaze out the window despairingly as the beauty of Budapest fades into the distance. Thankyou Budapest, it’s been emotional.
Now then…To add a little more spice to our already flaming hot ultimate stag do, we’re going to give you a few more hints and tips. That’s right dear people, we want to make sure that your stag do is as epic and awesome as it can possibly be, so we’ve rounded up some of the best clubs, restaurants, Ruin Pubs and so much more, so you can rest assured knowing that your weekend truly is as good as it gets.
After Dark: Budapest’s Best Clubs
Any true blue stag do warrants a good old fashioned bit of supercharged, sweat drenched night club action – and when it comes to clubbing, Budapest has bundles of brilliant spots to offer…
P1 Budapest – Boasting a 2011 award for the best gentlemen’s club in the city, P1 is a ‘stag must do.’ This internationally renowned gem is clad with beautiful babes, a fine selection of drinks and a relaxed atmosphere that even dad is sure to enjoy.
Trafiq – This pumping little club is filled with the city’s trendiest punters almost every night of the week and its ruin-style interiors, coupled with an eclectic mix of dance music,make Trafiq the perfect place to get out there and cut some serious shapes.
Instant – If you’re looking for something totally psychedelic, this club is simply unmissable. For starters, Instant has 23 rooms, six bars and four dance floors (all sporting different themes). Secondly, its labyrinth style layout and crazy interiors are insane. Have you ever seen a rabbit with tits? You will do in here.
Blind Mice Exchange Pub – This centrally located city gem offers a whole new way of buying your booze. Pay for your spirits according to their official stock value, displayed on the bars’ number of TV screens, then head off to one of several rooms and either chill out or boogie the night away. Blind Mice also run lots of brilliant themed nights, so be sure to check what’s in store before you leave for the airport!
Corvinteto – Unlike many of the city’s nightclub offerings, Corvinteto offers a bonafide mix of the best live bands and DJ’s around, which means all musical tastes are catered for. More importantly, girls get in for free (for those babe seeking bachelors in your group) and there is a roof garden with epic views over Budapest.
ZIZI Bar – Okay, this is technically a bar, but it does sport a genuine club vibe. This is a great pre-party spot with an American theme and a house DJ who happily accepts a almost every musical request.
Every stag needs to fuel up before a big night on the town. Here is a quick fire run down of eateries that are sure to satisfy even the most ravenous of appetites…
Pomodoro – A hearty Italian style restaurant with proper portions and a lively atmosphere to boot.
Prime Steak House – The trendiest steak joint in the city and perfect for red meat lover’s – it’s popular so book your table early!
Borkonyha – For a spot of sophisticated dining, this Michelin-star awarded restaurant offers up traditional Hungarian fayre and shed loads of different wines.
Spiler Shanghai – The best Asian place in town. A menu that caters for everyone, a big boy beer menu and great decor make this a scoffing spot to remember.
Variete Biztro and Bar – Beer and burgers; the ultimate stag do combo. Oh, and there’s a mighty Mountain Burger Eating Challenge on the menu for anyone who thinks they’re hard enough!
The Best View in Town
As mentioned earlier, for a fine city view, the roof garden at Corvinteto is right up there.
But, if you want to take in the stunning city skyline without the beer goggles on, Gellert Hill is hard to beat. Take a public footpath up this rocky hill, head to the top of the iconic Citadella (the city’s historic fortress) and soak in the most breathtaking views of one of Europe’s greatest stag do destinations. Don’t forget to bring your camera!
Credit: Gyorgy Soponyal
Best Time to Visit
Let’s not beat around the bush, Hungary’s capital city can be bloody cold in the winter! This doesn’t mean come November or December, it’s a no go zone (in fact, it’s rather magical); it’s just that you might get more out of it during spring. Arguably, the best time to visit is from mid-April to early June when the weather is mildly warm and predictable, and the city is really in full bloom.
Karting Yourself Around
Budapest is proud owner to one of Europe’s best public transport systems, so even if you’ve had a few, it’s easy to navigate.
For even more convenience, taxis are plentiful and are largely inexpensive. Basically, a taxi ride will cost you the equivalent of 50p – £1 per mile – much cheaper than a black cab.
As a side note, Budapest really is a stunning city, so you should get off your arse and walk whenever you can!
Do Yourself a Favour
If you are partial to sweltering heat, bikini clad babes and live music, do yourselves a favour and make sure you book your tickets to Sziget Festival, which takes place in August each year.
This colossal annual celebration won a Best Major Festival Award last year and features an eclectic musical line up – there is plenty of Hungarian high jinx to enjoy too!
Ruin Pubs have exploded in popularity over the past decade in Budapest and its not hard to see why; dotted all over the sprawling heart of the city, these eclectic bars are housed in quirky disused areas, reviving formerly ruined spaces by transforming them into amazing, lantern-lit outdoor bars. Here’s our pick of the best:
This is one of the first and best ruinbars and is still hugely popular with both locals and tourists alike. It might not look much from the outside, but step over the threshold and you’ll feel like you’re in a very quirky cave of wonders. The walls are stacked with everything from girl’s dolls and typewriters to multi-coloured lanterns giving it the feeling of a friendly marketplace. With a wide range of drinks and snacks, this is the perfect place to spend an evening.
New kid on the block Ellato Kert is already making a name for itself amongst the locals for its amazing outdoor décor and kitchen serving up tasty tacos. Unlike a lot of ruinbars where great food is often sacrificed for great atmosphere, Ellato Kert manages to combine both. Enjoy authentic Mexican cooking as you soak up the great atmosphere and cheap drinks.
Credit: Dmitri Korobtsov
This is without a doubt one of the most stunning runibars: ivy crawls up the brightly painted walls and coloured lanterns light the courtyard. The atmosphere is a little more intimate and tranquil than other ruinbars, but they still boast brilliant live jazz on Thursdays as well as resident DJs at the weekend. Food and drinks are simple, tasty, and reasonably priced.
Kertem might be one to avoid in the daylight hours, where it is mostly frequented by families sipping lemonade, but as night falls its alter ego appears. Gradually lemonade is replaced by beer, and kids and dogs replaced by young locals looking to enjoy the delicious burgers. With its bright deck chairs, location beneath the trees, and friendly local atmosphere Kertem has the feeling of a brilliant backyard barbecue.
This popular spot does delicious lunch specials, and is popular with local students who enjoy sipping wine on the coloured chairs balanced on the cobbles. The atmosphere is friendly but the food is so good that it fills up quickly, so it’s worth booking a table to avoid disappointment!
R33 is perhaps one of the most well hidden ruinbars, which of course makes it all the more fun! Housed in an apparently empty factory, R33 is one of the best concert halls in Budapest. The main hall is decked out with chandeliers and other fake baroque furnishings, which add to its sense of crumbling grandeur. They hold regular live concerts, but if that’s not your thing you can always enjoy a beer in the outdoor garden bar.
Credit: Dmitri Korobstov
Definitely one for a warm summer evening, Fogas Haz’s courtyard is brilliantly 90s and has two floors of dancing and DJs to really get the party going. You can chill outside with the very reasonably priced drinks, or party the night away at the weekend.
Here’s a little handy map to make sure you find these hidden treasures in Budapest.
So what do you think fellas, are you ready to take on Budapest? Where would your ultimate stag do take you? Antarctica? Tokyo? Let us know in the comments below.