Published on July 8th, 2009 | by Staggered0
Great Gift Ideas For Your Bride
It’s a tradition (started by a bride no doubt) that on the day of the wedding the groom should give the bride a wedding gift. This is supposed to be a simple token – not too expensive, not too cheap – that neatly encapsulates your relationship and sums up your love for this other human being in one perfect present. No pressure then. After extensive research Staggered can reveal that there are precisely three options available to the groom on the subject of wedding day gifts.
OPTION ONE: DON’T BOTHER
This option also includes the infamous “tie a ribbon around your old man and shout ta-da when you come out of the bathroom in the honeymoon suite” routine. In total, Staggered believes that around 45% of grooms decide that a present is unnecessary and that they have already coughed up enough on the day.
This figure was worked out from the number of marriages that the Office for National Statistics says end in divorce within ten years (45%). If you’ve seen the cost of divorce lawyers lately, you’ll begin to see that a really kick-ass gift is actually a canny investment.
That means you’ve got two options left.
OPTION TWO: THINK OF SOMETHING MEANINGFUL
1. A photo book
It’s simple to get photo books of your time together printed up, and chicks really dig this type of thing; prices from £2.99 to £39.99 on www.snapfish.co.uk. You can even have some of your memories printed up into a hardbound book that looks suspiciously like those arty coffee table books at CEWE for around £30.
2. A mix tape
OK, so iPod playlists have rendered this concept a tiny bit Eighties, but again this is about the thought that goes into it. Start with your first dance, then move on to songs that remind you of when you first got together, any from gigs you’ve been to together, whatever was playing in the background when you proposed, a song that has her name (or yours) in the title or lyrics… You can even print up a CD sticker to personalise it for her.
3. Your grandmother’s ring
Perhaps the ultimate crossover gift in that it has a high value (without actually costing you anything) and can be delivered with an eye-wateringly tender speech about how long it’s been in the family. Obviously, ask your grandmother first as she may be shocked to find her missing ring on her new granddaughter-in-law’s pinky; also steer clear if all you can turn up is an Elizabeth Duke ring bearing the legend ‘NAN’, see also sovereign rings and racially-dubious rings.
4. A kitten
Insert ear plugs before handing over to protect against squealing and try not to make any “pussy” jokes. Yes, over time a cat is a costly gift, but cats are a hell of a lot cheaper than babies and it is scientifically proven that proximity to kitten fur muffles a woman’s biological clock for at least two years. Try a local shelter and share your love with a poor, lonely cat. It might be best to take a photo of your new pet rather than wrap the whole thing – cats and sellotape don’t really mix.
5. The holy grail: a really personal gift
If there’s any interest that particularly defines your fiancée, or your time together, think about whether there’s a gift in there somewhere. If you always do the crossword together, get one commissioned for her featuring words, names and places that mean something to her – try All Clued Up. If she has a favourite childhood book, see if you can track down a first-edition. Or you could just go down the celebrity route and have her name tattooed on your arse.
OPTION TWO: THROW MONEY AT THE PROBLEM
It’s simple: Cartier if you have thousands to spend, Tiffany if you have hundreds. A simple, classic diamond necklace or earrings will make her swoon, she can’t help it. Otherwise try a little crossover into “meaningful” and get a gold or silver (check which she wears!) locket with a picture of you in it. No, not that one where you’re drunk and getting a lap dance at your stag do, nor the one of you with the ribbon tied around your old man.
Even trickier than jewellery in terms of taste, but if you can get this right you can probably get out of doing the washing-up for the rest of your life. David Beckham is said to have bought Victoria Beckham an Hermès Birkin bag in every colour (c. £5,000 – not for the faint-hearted); Chanel’s quilted 2.55 bags (around £1,000) are a smaller, more manageable option and anything from Mulberry (around £400) will last for years. A less romantic but more affordable designer gift would be sunglasses; perfect for the honeymoon. Try the Sunglass Hut for a good range of cheap designer glasses.
This might seem like male territory, but an iPhone, iPod (perhaps pre-loaded with romantic songs, see “meaningful”?), digital camera or – if you can stretch to it – laptop will be welcome. A food processor, or Dust-Buster less so.
9. A love seat
Not quite what you might be imagining, this is a sort of sofa that you can sit in together. Track a generic one down (Furniture Village has them) or for bonus points get one handmade from a local designer à la the horsey one’s boyfriend in Sex and the City.
10. A rest
After the stress of organising the wedding, she might need a day to herself. Don’t worry if you’re going on honeymoon right away, with vouchers she can take it later in the year. Extra points if you pay for a friend, which fortunately creates the perfect opportunity for you to catch up with your mates post-wedding. Champneys has spas nationwide.
AND FINALLY, THREE TO AVOID:
A re-gift – She will know that the Lynx Africa toiletries pack was not handpicked for her.
An iron – At least let her wait until she wakes up with a hangover before she faces the harsh reality of what she’s done.
A threesome – It’s just not quite down with the “forsaking all others” vibe.