It is interesting to hear some of the misapprehensions that people Not From The North East hold of the area. They may refer to a warm and friendly welcome. They may enthuse about the accent. Career-students might enthusiastically pipe-up on the topic of the cost of beer. Someone who has replaced their life with football might also interject, to inform you of its premiership-status team.

Unfortunately, with the immediacy of a javeline poked sadistically through the spokes of someone's speeding motorcycle, this is where these facile and hopelessly optimistic statements must end.