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Published on November 10th, 2014 | by Editor

The Great Movember Survey

In The Mo: Movember Glory

It’s that time of year again, where we’re all focused on Halloween, Bonfire Night, and Christmas… only joking, what’s more rousing than Movember?

It’s that empowering month when men around the world start sprouting facial hair to raise awareness for not only prostate and testicular cancer, but to shine a light on mental health issues as well.
Since 2003, Movember has recruited more than 4 million Mo Bros and Mo Sistas worldwide, to help raise over 346 million towards improving men’s health.

This also means it’s that time of year again, where men look in the mirror and practically see Dan Bilzerian staring back at them, whilst their girlfriends gaze over and can only recall that awkward time when Beiber tried to prove he’d hit puberty by covering his top lip in bum-fluff.

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That’s right, Movember is here and it’s here to stay.

We Interviewed 12,000 people across the UK and the US to discover what women really think about them, whether more sex and more beer really could be the answer to faster Mo growth and to determine the UK’s favourite Mo style; from handle bars to hipster hairs.

After discovering how many men struggle to get their moustache thriving, we’ve got tips to get even the most reluctant upper lips looking hairier than Hulk Hogan.

I got 99 problems, wish my Mo weren’t one.

We all want moustache glory, but alas, it’s not always so simple. With Movember upon us it is easy to assume that men the world over will be taking part, but after getting our survey results back, we came to learn that for most men, they only ever achieve a moustache fail. It appears the facial hair expectations rarely live up to the reality…

Expectations Vs Reality

reality

 

Can you grow facial hair?

Graph1
Over 50% of the males we questioned weren’t even able to confidently grow a full beard or moustache; complaining of patchiness, nothing at all or often ending up with fluffy questionable results resembling the efforts of Michael Cera rather than Tom Selleck.

It is probably important to note that the despair’s of facial hair growth doesn’t seem to affect the whole of the UK however.
Wales appears to be the champion of facial hair prowess with 60% being confident in their growing ability whilst England, especially London, took the crown for being the least successfully hairy with 70% of men confessing to struggle. Don’t worry guys, maybe we can help.

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Top Tips on Going from Floundering to Flourishing

With so many men struggling in the side-whiskers stakes, we cast our eyes across the pond to seek advice from our American comrades.
4,000 US males gave us their advice on how best to ensure fast and strong Mo grow, some of their answers raised a few eyebrows…

Moustache Growth

Advice ranged from the very satirical “be a man” to the extremely bizarre mention of “fertilizer”. It is at this time that we would like to point out that some of these ‘remedies’ may not have been tried and tested. We cannot guarantee the success or failure of any of the recommended, and for some, it may actually be advisable to seek the advice of your GP beforehand

The good news however, is that the old favorites of beer, sex and protein have all been cited as great ways to get your Mo moving- at least now you have a genuinely important excuse to over indulge!

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If you fancy some help based more on a scientific, less potentially life-threating basis then it might be worth having a look at our Top Tips below.

  • Stop Stressing – Less stress means lower cortisol levels which causes testosterone levels to rise, which is exactly what you want. An increase in testosterone can have a direct impact on facial hair growth.
  • Sleep, Sleep and More Sleep – It’s while you sleep that your body produces growth hormones which allow the cells of the body to regenerate and reproduce, especially hair follicles.
  • Sun Time is Fun Time – Increase your vitamin D uptake. It plays a significant role in formation of keratin, the protein which makes up hair. Alternatively during the winter months, take Vitamin D supplements!
  • More Protein, Less Fat – Eat more beans, fish or cauliflower. This is because they contain biotin which is important for the formation of fatty acids and glucose, helping to break down and metabolise the amino acids and carbohydrates you eat, which encourage hair growth.

And after all that, if you can’t become a moustache hero, there is always the backup option… Buy a fake one!

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Congratulations on becoming a Mo Bro Hero

So you’ve taken our tips on board, filled your fridge with nothing but beer, steaks, and carrots and even persuaded your girlfriend that she could be the key to making you look more manly, whilst potentially single handedly beating prostate cancer one mighty hair at a time.

quoteBut here comes the important question, what does your new Mo say about you?

We asked 12,000 people what they thought about a man sporting a moustache and their responses ranged from creative and powerful to poor and unclean. So now we have a handle(bar) on just what that upper lipholstery really says about you. We’re sure you’re just bristling with excitement so wrap your mutton chops around the results (and yes, we expect you to quizzically twizzle your whiskers as you analyse them.

 

What does a moustache say about a man?
Graph2

Good news if you’re on the pull in Movember, because women appear to be all for facial hair this year.
29% of women associated moustaches with wealth and power, whilst 35% thought mustachioed men were more likely to be intelligent and creative; think Brad Pitt or George Clooney.

Looking this darn good, it’s not hard to see why 19% of women also think men with moustaches are probably a bit of a ladies-man. You smooth operator.

Your fellow brothers on the other hand might not be so impressed by your new Mo prestige; we can safely assume it’s down to jealousy. Compared to women, they were easily twice as likely to see moustaches as a sign of being poor, untrustworthy, lazy or unclean. Luckily for all of our Movember men, only 17% of women agreed.

Clearly the moustache should be used responsibly- it has the potential to send you from cute to creepy in the hair of a whisker (yes, James Franco, we’re looking at you.)

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Is A Moustache for Life or Just for Movember?

So the power of the moustache and facial hair in general is undoubtedly growing and many men will be facing the important decision at the end of the month on whether to keep the ‘tasche’ or pull out the razor. Perhaps you’ve grown fond of it and it’s unrivaled pulling power, maybe you don’t want your upper lip to face the cold winter air again.

If this is the case what style should you ultimately go for? We asked the UK what their favourite moustache style was and these are the results.

What is the UK’s favourite moustache?

uk favourite moustache table of results

Our survey suggests if you want your bristles to be a woman magnet in the UK then you need to bust out the handlebar. That’s the type that is finely groomed and turns upwards at the end, perfect for twirling in between your fingers.

The handlebar is way out in front as the nation’s favourite

handlebar by greg anderson

In fact, more than 25% of British women surveyed voted it as their favourite, with just over 20% of men going for the same choice. The ‘paintbrush’ was a close second among the men polled, but for the women it was nigh on 10% behind in second place, leaving the handlebar way out in front as the nation’s favourite.

What women in the UK think…

UK ladies moustache graph

And what men think…

UK gents moustache graph

A curious result perhaps when you consider that some of the most famous exponents of the trusty handlebar include Hercule Poirot, General Melchett in Blackadder and…erm…that guy off the Pringles tubes. Oh, and let’s not forget Joseph Stalin.

Most-famous handlebars:

poirot-stephen-fry-and-stalin

A common moustache misconception

Of course, there is a chance that people had the wrong mo in mind when they cast their votes. A common moustache misconception is that a ‘tache that droops downward, a la Hulk Hogan, is a handlebar, but this is in fact a horseshoe. And we know that works for the Hulk, right? Let’s hope it’s not the tights and waxed legs anyway. That said, the horseshoe performed pretty poorly, with less than five per cent of females declaring it their favourite, while it proved slightly more popular among the men.

hulk hogan
[Image Credit: www.nydailynews.com]

But leaving aside any potential cases of mous-taken identity, how would these other modern day sex symbols look if sporting their own sexy handlebar?

Is this the future of UK celebs?

Brits handlebar logo

A breakdown of results by city

Back to the results, and it was those trendsetting Londoners who most favoured the handlebar, suggesting you’ll soon see these fine examples of facial grooming flooding the streets of Shoreditch.

What is your hometown’s favourite moustache?

Elsewhere, while Cambridge may be associated with scholarly full beards, it was actually the extravagant Dali moustache that came out number one in the brainy city, while their rivals in Oxford plumped for the more surprising bikers’ favourite, the horseshoe. Edinburgh folks love a reliable, full-bodied paintbrush while they like to take it a step further in Sheffield, with the walrus voted top ‘tache. Not wanting to get carried away in Manchester, Mancunians favoured the slightly creepy pre-pubescent look, while their north west neighbours in Liverpool prefer the more refined pencil.

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Along with the conundrum of what style to opt for, one must also consider what to do for special occasions. So we asked our men whether they would keep their moustache or new facial hair for important occasions like their wedding day, or a job interview.

What would you happily sport at a special occasion?

Graph3On the surface of things it looks like Clean shaven is the winner, but when you add up all the people who would sport some sort of facial hair, over 50% say they would happily keep their look for special occasions.

Clean-shaven used to be the only way to look presentable, but with beard-care hotter than ever before many men are working the moustache look into their formal wardrobe.

FacialHair
Times have changed, and whereas 80% of over 65s suggest clean-shaven is still the way to go, over 50% of 18-34 year olds would sport some form of facial hair for their big day.

6% would even go all out with muttonchops or side burns!

 

Clean Shaven vs Facial Hair According to Age

Graph4

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Why do men bother with Movember?

US and UK why men take part in movember

So, with the moustache seemingly not the top choice for how we should adorn our faces, why do so many hordes liberate their upper lip whiskers every November? Of course we know it started off with the admirable aim of raising money and does a fine job in raising awareness of prostate cancer. But like many things, people tend to have their own agenda too.

In fact, our stats suggest that laziness and ego are two of the dominant factors. Men like to save themselves that extra effort of shaving properly for a month, while for many the ‘tache proves a great tool to draw some attention to themselves. Other popular reasons included winding up wives and girlfriends, or using it as a chat up line. Although how successful that would be given the other survey results, we’re not sure.

People in the UK demonstrate greater awareness of prostrate cancer than those in the US

While the reasons for doing it showed pretty consistent similarities in both the UK and the US, we decided to investigate further to see how much awareness there was of the origins of the campaign, asking people if they really knew what Movember was about. Our results concluded that the UK demonstrated greater awareness of Movember and prostrate cancer than those in the US.

 

Movember1

Conclusions

It seems like the moustache could be here to stay, with our survey suggesting that younger generations are embracing their facial hair and even going to extremes in hair care to keep their Mo in shape all year-round.

Whilst moustaches might not work to impress the lads, with most men seeing them as the hallmark of a guy who’s more likely to pinch a tenner than buy you a drink, they will make an impression on the ladies leaving over 50% of women awed by your intelligence, wealth, power, and creative prowess.

Remember that your tache should reflect your tastes. Whether you go for an eccentric Dali, an ironic hipster pencil, or a throwback Magnum Pi, there’s always a style to suit you! So dare to lay down the razor, and embrace your tache this Movember and beyond.

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A big thanks again to Greg Anderson for his amazing photos. If you would like to see more of his work click here or check out his Facebook page click here.
To donate to Movember click here.

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Editor

Some say he once drunk Keith Richards under the table, and that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds. All we know is he's called…the Chillisauce Editor.



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